Realisation...

I realised something...it just made me realise an open my eyes. On thursday, we were given this 'motivational talk' by the principal. Well sad to say it wasn't a real motivation talk...it was just pure crap to tell us to score more 4A's so that we make the school proud. Heck, why should we make the school proud when we can't make ourselves proud? No point producing 4 flat students when your brains don't work or malfunction!

Anywayz, i didn't pay attention to his 'crap' so i just stared blankly in the air. Then it was mr. karu's turn to talk. This one isn't crap...but informative and resourceful. Not because we HAVE to listen...because we WANT to listen. I mean seriously it didn't struck me before and it just happenned to zap me on the spot.

I chose to come to form 6 for a reason and i definately want to have a good outcome. Mr. Karu is one of the best people around to inject some "sense" into you. People would often think that STPM is just like SPM. During your SPM you would do a 3 month crash course and walah...you can still get instant results. Yea...SPM is like kacang putih. But, do not play with STPM...not because it's the world's toughest exam (true or not i don't know...but it's HARD). It's more of a do or die thing. If you don't do well...well, your whole life would probably be bleak for you.

During form 5 days, i often wondered how people who went to form 6 managed to survive. And at that moment i hardly knew my identity. I was a body without a soul. I didn't know how to reason with people, i didn't know what it is like to socialise, i didn't know what it's like to talk bout politics or economics, i didn't know how to EVEN think for myself or others.

So against my parents wishes etc (sounds like a drama to me), i went to form 6 and wow...i realised it was so difficult at first that i wanted to quit. I just felt the heavy work load with all the research and analysing to do. Frankly speaking, even tuition can't help you if you don't help yourself first. Lower six wasn't that bad because we were the ones who would do all the organising for activities, handing over and running around the school like nobody's business. So we'd probably enjoyed our lower six years.

Now, i'm in upper six. And as soon as school started i thought i had become the same person in form 5. I was full of energy and ready to face anything. But it somehow deteriorated. As months passed, i soon realised that the reason why i felt like my energy has been zapped is......I didn't put in any effort to improve the situation. I sat down one day i started thinking bout my future and my plans to enjoy every single last bit of my form 6 life. Maklumlah, i'm gonna go to university soon!

My realisation about form 6 is that if you continue to strive and work for it, you will eventually succeed. It taught me to be more independent in terms of thinking and reasoning, mixing around with people and more importantly...be myself! I can see a difference within me now. I have become more matured than I was in form 5. These are like two different world of me. I now learned to be courageous to take the first step to accompolish things. That is what is still driving me until today. I thought what i wanted to plan didn't work out but things turned out eventually. And now know why...because I made the effort to do it.

Now it's already April. I have exactly 23 days left before my mid-term, one month before my MUET, 5 months before my trial and 7 months before my STPM. How can i cramp everything within this period of time...there are so many events happening after this..??!

And there's another thing that you want to spend time with...your friends! I used to feel like i'm left out previously that i have no friends with me. But now, i know that i have friends...we just have to priortise our work. I have friends...i do have friends who support me, joke with me and even have serious talk with me. But to see them going out everyday to go and eat is a question which i sometimes think is debatable. I don't see any wrong going out to eat once a while but everyday is totally ridiculous! I know my priorities and that's my studies. I don't want to neglect my work just because i want to mix with people and don't feel left out. I now know where I should stand. Because I know what i'm doing.

Oh well...so much of time spent on this blog. Hmm..., so called 'realised' person about how precious time is! Hahaz...

Michaelians...let's do our best in our final months before depart!

QUIS UT DEUS!